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    Acquaintances -VS- Friends

    The "how to" guide.

    I’m not the type of person who would ever encourage another not to make as many friends as they possibly can.  As of matter of fact, I’ll take as many new friends as I can, since I consider myself to be a friendly person!   But how do you go about separating friends from acquaintances?  You have to draw the line somewhere!

    So, I have this saying, “I’ll trust you at first, until you earn my distrust.”  What I mean when I say this is I don’t have any trust issues that keeps me from making acquaintances, but that’s what they’ll stay until I decide that they can become a friend.

    You can pretty much treat an acquaintance the same way you would a friend, but with limitations.  Acquaintances are usually kept in a “safe zone”, until they are allowed to cross over into the deeper areas of your life. 

    I’ve actually made friends with people who’ve kept me in the safe zone.  I was oblivious to it though.  We would talk for hours at a time and then I noticed I was the only one divulging, while the associate shared nothing.  I had been duped and it was my own fault! Sometimes trick yourself into thinking and acquaintance is a friend because they will allow you to invite them into your personal business, while keeping you at bay from theirs.  Lesson learned…

    These days, I don’t place too much responsibility on someone who never wanted it in the first place.  This is the key to avoiding mistakes like the one I made, and you don’t have to feel so bad and so deeply let down when it’s time to bid farewell to an associate.

    Acquaintances don’t really know you, they know you as something they identify with, which is determined by the environment (work, party, event, another associate) they met you in, but they don’t care to actually get to know you.

    Friends know your likes and dislikes and are there to support you on occasions where they may not be well-versed.  They are just eager to see you happy, and are sometimes too involved in your life.  Acquaintances on the other hand, have you noticed that if you invite them to something you think they might like to do, they take you up on the offer?  But when you invite them to something that is of interest to you, they don’t have time?  They won’t even get into details; they just decline your offers.  But that’s ok, because you guys aren’t friends; you’re just “friendly” with one another.

    Friends are people you can see anywhere or any time of day or night, and this is not initiated by a certain person, place, or thing to make it happen; it seems to happen by itself.  They’ll let you know when they’re concerned about you, and that concern will bother them just as much as it eats away at you. 

    Acquaintances will pretend to care about your welfare, and you’ll be fooled, but it’ll only last for a short time.  They won’t have your back in situations and that’s fair because they really don’t know you, so it’s not their fault.  You just can’t hold an associate with the same responsibility as a friend because they don’t have the same emotional connection as a friend. 

    And of course, there are friends that aren’t worth it, who will let you down so often that, you have to move them to the acquaintance pile.  You’ll recognize them in time because you’ll notice you have become numb to their disappointments. 

    Don’t make the same mistake I did.  You have to meet people where they are, and leave them there.  Don’t try and make something out of nothing.  

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    You ever wonder how people who are faced with extreme adversity stay so strong? Being a survivor of trauma takes more than will-power. Some people are just born with a certain level of resilience, but we all have what it takes to stay strong.  

    Below are a list of some habits that resilient individuals should take note of.  

    Resilient people don't give in to anger or despair when faced with a setback. Instead, they tap into a greater purpose to bounce back stronger than ever.

    "They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad times as a temporary state of affairs," says Hara Estroff Marano, editor at large of Psychology Today.

    Highly resilient people know how to bend to inevitable failures and tragedies and not break. Here are seven habits of people who know how to confront adversity and move on with their lives stronger than before:

    1. They have a strong sense of purpose.

    Resilient people make a habit of being persistent. "Knowing what one wants is the first and, perhaps, the most important step toward the development of persistence," says Napoleon Hill in "Think and Grow Rich," one of the top-selling books of all time.

    2. They are self-reliant.

    Resilient people believe that they are fully capable of carrying out their purpose, says Hill, which allows them to rebound from setbacks.

    3. They have a support network.

    Just because successful people are self-confident and can rely on themselves doesn't mean that they isolate themselves from others. Studies show that having intimate relationships with friends and family provides the benefits of belonging, increased self-worth, and security that reduces stress levels, especially in times of crisis.

    4. They are accepting.

    Resilient people understand that frustrating situations, failures, and tragedies are inevitable parts of life, and they're able to move on because they don't ignore or repress their pain. "Acceptance is not about giving up and letting the stress take over, it's about leaning in to experience the full range of emotions and trusting that we will bounce back," Brad Waters writes in Psychology Today.

    5. They are optimists.

    Those who move forward do not dwell in a state of victimhood or self-loathing. "What the resilient do is refrain from blaming themselves for what has gone wrong," says Marano of Psychology Today. "In the language of psychology, they externalize blame. And they internalize success; they take responsibility for what goes right in their lives."

    6. They turn adversity into opportunities for growth.

    In "The Obstacle Is the Way," Ryan Holiday points to several historical examples of people who practice the ancient Greek philosophy of Stoicism by re-framing adversity as an opportunity for triumph. He cites Nassim Taleb, who defines a Stoic as someone who "transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking."

    7. They take care of their health.

    Psychologist Karen Horneffer-Ginter focuses on the physical characteristics of resilient people, who know how to keep stress from accumulating and then crippling them. She says exercise and meditation can be great ways to clear the mind of anxiety. "Unplugging and stepping off the wheel of our doing can offer just the reset we need to re-find our center," she says.

    See this article here: http://www.businessinsider.com/habits-of-resilient-people-2014-6

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    This video depicts the different scenarios that occur when one is involved in an abusive relationship.  A lot of the time the victim will blame themselves because they have been conditioned that way.  Get help if you are being abused because there are people who care about you.  Click the link below and share it to raise awareness.

    The Domestic Violence Project   http://youtu.be/ziZzkbi3g58
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    It is 2014 and times have changed. So how should we feel when a woman videotapes her abortion procedure in order to encourage other women to not feel guilty when they themselves undergo an abortion? 

    When Emily Letts got pregnant, she knew she was unprepared to care for a child, so she had an abortion. Then she decided to film it. Letts, 25, is an abortion counselor at Cherry Hill Women's Center in New Jersey, and thats the place she had the procedure done. The following video focuses on her face only but shows her breathing and humming through the process. The doctor cannot been seen in the video. Emily entered the video in the "Abortion Care Network's Stigma Busting" video competition and she won. Her video went viral. 

    I personally, cannot relate to Emily or any other woman who has experienced an abortion and I do think its personal choice. The question is, should you automatically feel bad about what you've done, and who convinced you to feel that way? 

    Emily explains why she decided to share her experience so publicly. Watch and share your thoughts below.

    http://youtu.be/Y4xiVUeecNQ

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    Recently I became part of something amazing! It’s called @NOMORE.org, and we’re using a powerful new symbol to unleash national attention on an issue that impacts 12.7 million of us every year. That’s 24 people every minute. Check it out at www.nomore.org.

    @NOMORE.org is a new symbol that’s spotlighting an invisible problem in a whole new way. It’s the first unifying symbol to express support for ending domestic violence and sexual assault. It can be used by anyone who wants to end domestic violence and sexual assault. Visit www.nomore.org and learn more.

    Did you know that 12.7 million people are physically abused, raped or stalked by their partners in one year? That’s approximately the population of New York City and Los Angeles combined. Now there’s a new symbol that says NO MORE. Check out @NOMORE.org on Facebook and at www.nomore.org.Take the pledge and say NO MORE to domestic violence and sexual assault.

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    Overcoming Takes Time...

    Adversity is defined as facing difficulties (misfortunes) and none of us are exempt from it. Once the difficulties have been removed from your life you will go through a period of recovery. Recovery is not equal to healing because to be completely healed takes times. Recovery only means that you are no longer burdened by the misfortune. 

    Below Matt shares with us how he knew he had closure.

    http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/07/23/finding-your-way-through-adversity/

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    AA -vs- The Modern Approach To Sobriety

    Alcoholic's Anonymous has been around since 1935 and has been offering support services to individuals who need a structured approach to sobriety. AA is a non-medical approach to alcoholism and uses a 12-step program that is based on spirituality. It has been successful but this form of treatment is long term and must be utilized for the remainder of a participates life. Should Alcoholic's Anonymous be phased out? Is it an "old-fashioned" approach?

    Read the article below titled "A Different Path To Fighting Addiction"  and share your thoughts! 

     

    http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/07/06/nyregion/a-different-path-to-fighting-addiction.html?referrer&_r=1


     

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    We Have Been Endorsed By Chime For Change!!!! 

         Chime For Change is an organization that is founded by the fashion brand Gucci.  Its co-founders are Beyonce' Knowles-Carter, Salma Hayek Pinault and Frida Giannini.  Chime's main focus is to empower women using creative approaches. The foundation has funded over 300 projects in almost 80 countries thus far. 

         A major way Chime shows its support is by highlighting the stories of females who stand for change.  Awesomeness After Adversity is now on the list of organizations that Chime has highlighted and we are more than grateful for this. 

         The original piece they asked us for was edited for their website use but it still means the same thing.  Here is the original:

     "I often find myself sharing examples of my past to help influence other women and girls' thought processes when they are facing situations similar to what I've faced. I try to share my story with as many hearts as my voice can reach. It usually helps when people can see things from another person's perspective. This shows them that they have more choices when facing a crisis, than they had originally thought.  I do this as well with my website Awesomeness After Adversity. We hi-lite individuals who have experienced intense struggles, but have turned them into positive outcomes. 

     
    I feel Im relatable to many young women and girls who've, at some point, allowed their pasts to define them. We live our lives with a dark cloud called trauma hovering over our heads.  Instead, our situations can be used to give others hope. I strive to be that person who encourages females to know, and find their self-worth sooner than later.  It took me well into my thirties to realize my own value because I waited around for someone else to tell me what it should have been. I'm confident that my strengths come from overcoming adversities and empowering others." 
     

      

      


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